Miskellany...
Mystery Men
Scene: Shoveler's backyard.
Furious, Shoveler, Raja, Spleen, and Invisible Boy are seated at a table. A guy with a waffle iron hanging from his belt approaches them.
Furious: All right, state your name and power.
Waffler: I am the Waffler. With my griddle of justice, I bash the enemy in the head, or, I burn them like so.
(He presses the iron to his face with a gruesome hissing noise.)
Shoveler: Oh, don't do that.
Waffler: I also have my Truth Syrup, which is low fat. And I've been working on a theme song. Kinda like: "Waffle Man!! Oh! I am the Waffler! Golden crispy! Bad guys are history, yow!" And I'm running. Just think about it. Do you have a health plan? Maybe dental? Eye?
Raja: Next.
Waffler is replaced by a guy in a pencil costume.
Pencilhead: Hi. Uh...I am Pencilhead.
Son of Pencilhead: (popping out from behind him) And I am Son of Pencilhead.
Pencilhead: We erase crime.
Raja: Uh, two generations of...
Furious: Right.
Raja: Yes, thank you.
Son of Pencilhead: Did I do all right?
Pencilhead: Yeah, I think they liked us.
The Pencilheads wander off, and a menacing-looking guy in a mask and a volumnious black cloak steps up.
Raja: (impressed) Now, say.
Man: I'm...(opens cloak to reveal a tutu) the Ballerina Man!
Raja: Ah.
Furious: Oh. I don't need to see that.
(Ballerina Man dances.)
Furious: Thanks.
Ballerina Man sweeps his cloak back around himself and leaves. A young woman in a Wonder Woman-ripoff costume runs up.
Sexy Woman #1: I am--
(Another young woman in an identical costume arrives.)
Sexy Woman #2: Hey!
Sexy Woman #1: You copied me!
Sexy Woman #2: You copied me!
Sexy Woman #1: Did not!
Sexy Woman #2: Liar!
Raja: Ladies, ladies...Now let's play nicely...
(The two women start brawling.)
Furious: I'd say there's potential.
Follows is a montage of various other loser wanna-be "superheroes":
Bullfighter: I be the Bullfighter! I fight the bull!
Radio man: Greetings, fellow crimefighters. I am Radio Man.
Squeegieman: I am Squeegieman. Do you sense its power?
Raja: Yes.
PMS Avenger: P.M.S. Avenger. I only work four days a month. Is there a problem with that?
Shoveler: No.
Raja: No.
Furious: No. Whatever you say.
Shoveler: We'll get back to you.
Raja: Quite all right.
PMS Avenger: Whatever!
Furious: (in disgust) Okay, that's it.
*****
Today's Tunes:
"Life and Limb"
Fugazi
from The Argument
"Que Onda Guero"
Beck
from Guero
*****
Pigmentation
Continental US
Servando Garcia
Graphite/acrylic/paper, 40" x 60"
Scene: Shoveler's backyard.
Furious, Shoveler, Raja, Spleen, and Invisible Boy are seated at a table. A guy with a waffle iron hanging from his belt approaches them.
Furious: All right, state your name and power.
Waffler: I am the Waffler. With my griddle of justice, I bash the enemy in the head, or, I burn them like so.
(He presses the iron to his face with a gruesome hissing noise.)
Shoveler: Oh, don't do that.
Waffler: I also have my Truth Syrup, which is low fat. And I've been working on a theme song. Kinda like: "Waffle Man!! Oh! I am the Waffler! Golden crispy! Bad guys are history, yow!" And I'm running. Just think about it. Do you have a health plan? Maybe dental? Eye?
Raja: Next.
Waffler is replaced by a guy in a pencil costume.
Pencilhead: Hi. Uh...I am Pencilhead.
Son of Pencilhead: (popping out from behind him) And I am Son of Pencilhead.
Pencilhead: We erase crime.
Raja: Uh, two generations of...
Furious: Right.
Raja: Yes, thank you.
Son of Pencilhead: Did I do all right?
Pencilhead: Yeah, I think they liked us.
The Pencilheads wander off, and a menacing-looking guy in a mask and a volumnious black cloak steps up.
Raja: (impressed) Now, say.
Man: I'm...(opens cloak to reveal a tutu) the Ballerina Man!
Raja: Ah.
Furious: Oh. I don't need to see that.
(Ballerina Man dances.)
Furious: Thanks.
Ballerina Man sweeps his cloak back around himself and leaves. A young woman in a Wonder Woman-ripoff costume runs up.
Sexy Woman #1: I am--
(Another young woman in an identical costume arrives.)
Sexy Woman #2: Hey!
Sexy Woman #1: You copied me!
Sexy Woman #2: You copied me!
Sexy Woman #1: Did not!
Sexy Woman #2: Liar!
Raja: Ladies, ladies...Now let's play nicely...
(The two women start brawling.)
Furious: I'd say there's potential.
Follows is a montage of various other loser wanna-be "superheroes":
Bullfighter: I be the Bullfighter! I fight the bull!
Radio man: Greetings, fellow crimefighters. I am Radio Man.
Squeegieman: I am Squeegieman. Do you sense its power?
Raja: Yes.
PMS Avenger: P.M.S. Avenger. I only work four days a month. Is there a problem with that?
Shoveler: No.
Raja: No.
Furious: No. Whatever you say.
Shoveler: We'll get back to you.
Raja: Quite all right.
PMS Avenger: Whatever!
Furious: (in disgust) Okay, that's it.
*****
Today's Tunes:
"Life and Limb"
Fugazi
from The Argument
"Que Onda Guero"
Beck
from Guero
*****
Pigmentation
Continental US
Servando Garcia
Graphite/acrylic/paper, 40" x 60"
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