the girl in the plastic bubble... almost
8 years ago today, i was attached to all kinds of monitors, on all kinds of meds, to keep juju from popping out too soon. but she was determined to come out, ready or not. she was a preemie, a whole month early. there were all kinds of complications of course, before and after the birth. it was a difficult pregnancy, i had to be in bedrest many times. and when she came out, she almost became a girl in the plastic bubble.
my water broke in the hospital, well, leaked more like. preterm labor is never any fun, and i wasn't a stranger to it. number one was a borderline premie. with this instance, my fluids mixed with juju's, and my body saw her as a foreign object and my system began to attack hers. but we didn't know all this 'til weeks after she was born.
we thought she was a he. i think the name we had was something like ethan or whatever. when she came out, and the doctor said, it's a girl, our reaction was... WHAT!?! we had to think of a name quick!
as with most births, they first give the baby to the mother for bonding and cooing and other expressions of love and relief, then they take the baby for what i call inspection... count fingers, toes, check heart rate, note color, weight, length, things like that. they also measure how a baby cries, how she reacts to certain stimuli, etc. but something was wrong with then unnamed number 3. the pediatric team seemed unusually quiet and busy working on her. there didn't seem the usual noise... baby crying, doctors and nurses talking. something was different. again, then unnamed number 3 was a premie, so there was concern.
so fast forward a few days. something is definitely wrong with her. by then we have a name. they wouldn't release her from the nursery. something was weird with her blood test. a platelet in her white blood cell was not reproducing itself. they can't let her leave because she could not seem to produce that platelet, which she needs to fight off infection. it was a mystery to the staff. why wasn't she producing this part of her white blood cell? no one was allowed to touch her and she wasn't allowed outside the nursery. we could only look at her while she was in the incubator. i could nurse, but that was it. we were told she had to stay in the little plastic incubator.
they had to keep taking blood tests, too. being a premie, she was only 5 pounds and then some. it was awful enough to see needles attached to her little body, but one day i came to visit her in the nursery as i often did (they let me have a room), i couldn't believe what i saw. the staff regularly tells me what the next steps are, when they take blood and so on. generally, parents are not allowed to watch while they take blood from newborns because most parents find it too disturbing. i agreed not to be around for those procedures. whatever made it easy for them to do their job. i knew they take blood from the baby's feet, arm, wherever they can find a vein. when i walked in, i noticed one side of juju's head was shaved, and when i looked closer i noticed the tiny holes. they took blood from her head! for the first time i lost it completely. i had been trying to keep it together for days and days, staying calm, collected, taking notes, but when i realized what had happened, i fell apart in the nursery. granted i had all those hormones raging, so of course i was extremely emotional, plus all the guilt (even though i did nothing wrong), but seeing tiny juju, already in a plastic box with needles attached to her, band aids on her arms and ankles and feet from where they took blood previously, and now one side of her little head shaved, with what looked like 2 or 3 needle holes, i couldn't bear the thought of what she just went through. i just started crying and sobbing and bawling and the floodgates burst with all the tears heavy with fear and frustration and sympathy for my child rushed out and they had to get a nurse for me. it was an awful time.
they finally released her a month later. after several tests, and nearly having to transfer her to a different hospital, they figured out what it was. my blood mingled with hers, and my antibodies saw her as a foreign body and began to attack her immune system. this kept her immune system from doing what it needed to do. what she needed was a kind of booster shot to get her platelets forming. fortunately that's all that was needed. one shot. her white blood cells were able to produce all the platelets needed.
today, little miss gold digger, as R lovingly calls her, is all energy and laughter (to the point of annoyance), vim and vigor, cuteness and charm. she recently saw a picture of herself in her plastic incubator, and was very curious and very sad when we told her what happened and what almost happened. i'm so glad we didn't have to do the plastic bubble thing. i mean, for those who know the movie i'm refering to, where on earth would we have put all that equipment?
happy birthday jugirl!
my water broke in the hospital, well, leaked more like. preterm labor is never any fun, and i wasn't a stranger to it. number one was a borderline premie. with this instance, my fluids mixed with juju's, and my body saw her as a foreign object and my system began to attack hers. but we didn't know all this 'til weeks after she was born.
we thought she was a he. i think the name we had was something like ethan or whatever. when she came out, and the doctor said, it's a girl, our reaction was... WHAT!?! we had to think of a name quick!
as with most births, they first give the baby to the mother for bonding and cooing and other expressions of love and relief, then they take the baby for what i call inspection... count fingers, toes, check heart rate, note color, weight, length, things like that. they also measure how a baby cries, how she reacts to certain stimuli, etc. but something was wrong with then unnamed number 3. the pediatric team seemed unusually quiet and busy working on her. there didn't seem the usual noise... baby crying, doctors and nurses talking. something was different. again, then unnamed number 3 was a premie, so there was concern.
so fast forward a few days. something is definitely wrong with her. by then we have a name. they wouldn't release her from the nursery. something was weird with her blood test. a platelet in her white blood cell was not reproducing itself. they can't let her leave because she could not seem to produce that platelet, which she needs to fight off infection. it was a mystery to the staff. why wasn't she producing this part of her white blood cell? no one was allowed to touch her and she wasn't allowed outside the nursery. we could only look at her while she was in the incubator. i could nurse, but that was it. we were told she had to stay in the little plastic incubator.
they had to keep taking blood tests, too. being a premie, she was only 5 pounds and then some. it was awful enough to see needles attached to her little body, but one day i came to visit her in the nursery as i often did (they let me have a room), i couldn't believe what i saw. the staff regularly tells me what the next steps are, when they take blood and so on. generally, parents are not allowed to watch while they take blood from newborns because most parents find it too disturbing. i agreed not to be around for those procedures. whatever made it easy for them to do their job. i knew they take blood from the baby's feet, arm, wherever they can find a vein. when i walked in, i noticed one side of juju's head was shaved, and when i looked closer i noticed the tiny holes. they took blood from her head! for the first time i lost it completely. i had been trying to keep it together for days and days, staying calm, collected, taking notes, but when i realized what had happened, i fell apart in the nursery. granted i had all those hormones raging, so of course i was extremely emotional, plus all the guilt (even though i did nothing wrong), but seeing tiny juju, already in a plastic box with needles attached to her, band aids on her arms and ankles and feet from where they took blood previously, and now one side of her little head shaved, with what looked like 2 or 3 needle holes, i couldn't bear the thought of what she just went through. i just started crying and sobbing and bawling and the floodgates burst with all the tears heavy with fear and frustration and sympathy for my child rushed out and they had to get a nurse for me. it was an awful time.
they finally released her a month later. after several tests, and nearly having to transfer her to a different hospital, they figured out what it was. my blood mingled with hers, and my antibodies saw her as a foreign body and began to attack her immune system. this kept her immune system from doing what it needed to do. what she needed was a kind of booster shot to get her platelets forming. fortunately that's all that was needed. one shot. her white blood cells were able to produce all the platelets needed.
today, little miss gold digger, as R lovingly calls her, is all energy and laughter (to the point of annoyance), vim and vigor, cuteness and charm. she recently saw a picture of herself in her plastic incubator, and was very curious and very sad when we told her what happened and what almost happened. i'm so glad we didn't have to do the plastic bubble thing. i mean, for those who know the movie i'm refering to, where on earth would we have put all that equipment?
happy birthday jugirl!
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